Flacco Feels Me

I knew what was coming before I set foot in the back conference room. You know the one, far removed from the rest of the office so that if I decided to let my grace slip and make a scene no one else’s work day would be disturbed. My colleagues shouldn’t have to deal with anything so messy. I had been avoided all day, but I thought that was because I was just returning to the office after a nasty bout with swine flu and everyone was being extra cautious. I had no idea that what I really had was the about-to-be-unemployed-plague and no one was looking to catch that in December 2009, at the height of a recession weeks before Christmas.
The notice on my Outlook calendar sent from my boss said “6 month review status” and informed me that Carol from Human Resources would be participating as well. I had never been fired before but I was no dummy and this had all the signs. The damn meeting was even scheduled at the end of the day so that I could peaceably pack up my desk and head for the elevators in a veil of my own shame.
So at 3:30 on the dot I headed empty handed toward the dreaded conference room of demise and shook hands with my boss and then Carol from HR. I took my seat and waited for “elected to discontinue your employment” before I glazed over. I remained calm, but I refused to participate further in what seemed like my undoing. So I sat. I sat while my transgressions were recounted to me. Yeah I knew I was late a lot and I knew I was disengaged. I hated the job and was bitter and confused about what to do. I had been contemplating giving my notice for a while. The bastards beat me to the punch and that was what bothered me most. I let Carol give her shpeal about the continuation of benefits and what they needed to collect before heading to my desk grabbing a few things and making a b-line for the elevators. All told, it took them six minutes to give my ego and my finances a good shake down.
I threw myself out the front door and in to the street. As I walked through Lexington Market towards the parking garage I felt an odd kinship with the street people I normally avoid. I stared dead into the eyes of everyone I passed. I was quietly challenging everyone I passed, but I didn’t know to what end. That night I watched the Raven’s game alone on my couch nursing a National. Some things are sacred - even when your world has crumbled and you are too ashamed and shocked to pick up the phone or the dry cleaning or dinner.
Joe Flacco had back to back interceptions. The Packers sacked him three times and the fans booed his every move. I watched him head to the sidelines and lift his helmet to reveal a face full of disappointment and self hatred and disgust. I’ve never wanted someone so bad in my life.