All Better

When your heart breaks
and your stomach revolts
and your fire flees
because you thought your life was
was,
was
decided
and then you get the shit kicked out of you
and then he wants to torture you
because all he knows is torture and baby talk

when all that happens they tell you not to call him,
not to text him
to cry to your girls and eat ice cream
They don't tell you
that
Ben & Jerry are black men, they just don't go down.
That
your friend's were over it three years ago
that
texts send themselves
that
you will lose 15 pounds cried out in tears
that
Xanax and porn will be your only comforts
that
although all hearts break at some point
yours will hurt more than
Juliette's
Mia Farrow's
Hillary Clinton's
that through no action at all
all of your
dreams would turn nightmares
all of your
poems would go flat
all of your
smiles will be thin veils
What they don't tell you
because they've blocked it out
(and good for them)
is that the Xanax gets old and turns to drinks with strange men
who talk like adults
and aren't into self loathing
Porn gives way to late night lovers
who grab your ass and clutch your throat
and give it to you the way you think he did
when he was younger, thinner, and less beaten down by the world.